The concrete detail allows the reader to understand the situation and relate to it. The first stanza is especially potent. In the second stanza, the third line -- "which really shouldn't be included anyway" -- breaks the flow of the poem. It might be left out. Or another line could be substituted. And on the very last line, perhaps you could add to the beginning, "A moment," or something similar. This would also help the flow of the poem.

This is an excellent poem. The concept of skimming through life doing nothing but waiting for it to pass is obvious, but not dull. The sudden snap as time suddenly catches up with you at the end is admirable and the grief is palpable. Well done.

I like this a lot--it's beautifully written. Plus, I think a lot of us deal with grief this way, numbness collapsing into tears unannounced.

There is only one phrase that seems out of place to me: "jaggedly ripped." Your first three stanzas seem to reflect an ordered world (counted tiles, the alphabet, lists of colors, organized freezers, matched socks), and "jaggedly ripped" is in opposition to that. In establishing a mood in your first stanza, I think you'd be better off with blander adjectives.

Personally, I like the "which really shouldn't be included anyway." Parentheses might help, but I don't think it really needs help.

I agree that you ought to add "A moment" to the last line. Other than that, I thought it was amazing. In fact, this is my official favorite poem. I love the coffee dregs in the polka dot cup and the sugar substitute and the capital of Zimbabwe, and the fact that eggshell and tangerine shouldn't be included. Well done. I love it!

I just finished crying and your poem makes me feel so much better because it reflects my feelings.  It really embodies human characteristics of how we deal with loss.  I love how specific each example of waiting is.  It creates a concrete image in the reader's mind that is not easily shaken.  Great writing!

This poem is wonderful. Not only do I relate to it, but I also really enjoy reading it. I've read it about six times in a row, now, and am not getting bored of it, probably because of all the details, and the way it flows. All those precise, almost manic details prepare the reader for the breakdown at the end, which is very stark and moving. The fact that you don't specify what you are waiting for or what you realize at the end, along with the use of the second person, make this a universal poem that anyone can relate to. Good job!

I agree that something like "a moment" would work better in the last line.  I like the line that said "which really shouldn't be included anyway," however; it broke the flow, but in a way that fit very well with this piece.  This poem was beautiful and I thought that it described grief perfectly.  Good job.

Whoa... This is honestly one of the best poems I have ever read. Why don't they publish this stuff?! The random objects mentioned in this poem fit it so well...

I found this ages after it was published (at least in internet time), and absolutely love it. Unlike some other critiquers, I wouldn't change anything. Amazing poem!