If I didn't knock on your door and ask to learn the subjunctive.
If I didn't grip your hand to stop my own from shaking.
If I didn't scrutinize the picture of your wife like it was under a microscope.
If I didn't show you my novel.
If I didn't help you clean the coffee stain on your khakis.
If I didn't let you massage the cramp from my neck.
If I didn't lie down in the canoe, my shoulders between your crocs.
If I didn't let you pay for the Taco Bell.
If I didn't spend my Euros on a Czech fairytale book for you.
If I didn't ask you to perform the guitar duet.
If I didn't tell you about kissing my ex on the dock at his parents' lake house.
If I didn't text you.
If I didn't let my hair down so slowly.
If I didn't let my shoulder rub against yours under the umbrella.
If I didn't call you my number one priority.
If I didn't cry about the rumors.
If I didn't say, "Your voice tastes like coffee."
If I didn't say, "Your fingers are big."
If I didn't remove my coat.
If I didn't find so many excuses to spend more time with you.
If I didn't act so scared.
If I didn't act so innocent.