The Slam: Slammables

I did It All (tw alcoholism)

by KnitFeathers

When just the littlest bit of unhappiness can be the only warning you get before a relapse of your alcoholic parent you learn to be aware of those upsets before they present themselves in drunked breaths and half a dozen bottles. And I did it without out losing my mind.

When they are trying, again, to get sober you have got to drop everything. And I did it. I went on smiling so that no one would know that they didn’t go away on a work trip or vacation. I did it, I hide the evidence of my family's failings from the world.

When you are hurt constantly, but got put on a team with some amazing people, you have got to find a way to push through the pain. I did it, and we won.

When you are a smart girl you just have to work ten times harder than anyone else. You have to be the perfect student in middle school. You have to move into high school early. You have to graduate with a smile on your face after spending a few weeks in bed crying because everything is just too much to take in. Through it all I did it, I was the student dreamed of.

When you are the student teachers love, you get internships out of highschool. And you work your ass off trying to keep up with the college juniors who make up your peer group. I did it. I kept up and made my work stand for itself.

When you get into a prestigious college you have to go. With all the stress, friends, and people you thought you could trust you have to go and make every day worth it because the tuition is too damn high not too. I did freshman year.

When you have been feeling ill for months and you have a job to go to you have to quit it and get the help you need. Or at least try. I did, I quit, got myself home and feel into a million peices. I got myself hospitalized and stabilized.

When you still feel like your seams are ripping apart every day, but all the help in the world won’t straighten you compass. Only a purpose will. You have to go back to school. I will do it.