The Slam: Slammables

Elegy for the Milk Woman

by Apollo's Lover

 

Dear milk woman

sometimes I wonder where you went

and then I wonder who you were

before you went

Every day

I bought milk

chocolate not white

with my one quarter

and drank it

in the cafeteria

with no straw

the wet cardboard falling apart against my lips

I remember you

stretching out your wrinkled hand

and asking what

I wanted

and I said “milk”

and you got a quarter

and another empty space in the black crate

You were so old

it was hard to tell

where you were from

and your steel wool hair frizzed out around your head

The only time

you ever spoke to me

personally

was when I

gave you an

australian coin

by accident

and didn’t realize until you told me so in words I don’t remember

Author's Note: This poem is about a real woman who used to sell milk at my school. One
day, without explanation, she wasn't there, and I've never seen her
since. None of the teachers ever told us what happened to her or even
what her name was. Let me know what you think!

Slammings

Your poem is equal parts warm, familiar feeling and eerie, haunting feeling. I love how personal this piece is and how it focuses on something that most people wouldn't consider a worthy subject matter. You took something so simple and brief as a "milk woman" and turned into a piece worth sharing. The ending was perfect and really wrapped up the piece well, though it had a strange, haunting feeling that I actually really liked! :) 

critiqued by lovelovelove
Aug 3, 2017