The Slam: Slammables

friday

by anglefish, elsewhere

We're trying too hard;

you're doing your best to entertain,

and I'm feeling a bit useless.

there isn't much to do

except wait,

so we wander your home

like the lost souls we are

until someone else arrives.

 

Author's Note:

Hi?

... still trying to get used to this; it just kind of feels weird.
But I did say I'd try so...

Anyways. Thanks for reading :)

 

 

Slammings

hi!! this is super haunting and interesting to think abt.... there seems to be a little bit of missing context and idk what friday means in relation 2 ur poem but i like it! ur simile in the last couple lines is A++++ 

critiqued by woundedBirds, collarbone city
Jun 15, 2017

Thanks :)

Basically, a friend invited me and some other friends to her house on a Friday night (hence the title)... I was the first to arrive, which pretty much never happens, and it was just kind of awkward ("we're trying too hard").

Hopefully that made some sense.

critiqued by anglefish, elsewhere
Jun 16, 2017

Oh yeah! A good poem I will love from now on! (I'm making a mental note to copy this into my notebook.) 

Thank you! 

critiqued by Sir Rehpotsiric the Troodon, under a table
Jun 16, 2017

Aww, thanks!

Also, (I have no idea if you'll ever see this but in case you do) is "Rehpotsiric" meant to be an anagram of "prehistoric"? (If it is, I like it; it's clever :D)

*overuses parentheses*

critiqued by anglefish, elsewhere
Jun 19, 2017