The Slam: Slammables

Wrong Number

by wordgirl89, Saginaw, MI

After the second ring someone picks up, breathless.

"Hello?" It's a woman. My tongue twists.

"Hello?" Her voice is small, barely audible. Like wind through leaves.

"Hello?" It's louder now. She seems busy. I get scared.

"Hello, who is this?" The octave goes from a whisper to a higher pitch in an instant. Uh oh. This is not how I wanted to begin. Precisely when I open my mouth to speak, she interjects.

"Peter?" she asks, practically pleads.

My heart pounded, blood pumped, foot twitched. I couldn't move my lips and my tongue laid still. Useless as a sodden sock, I was mute.

"Peter, please say something." She seems to have taken my silence for affirmation that I am this Peter guy. Fuck.

I should have been brash when I had the chance. I should have corrected her instantly. Sorry, wrong number, I could have said. I could have hung up, laid the phone to rest in its cradle, walked away.

But I didn't. I froze. Her voice was so soft.

"Peter, if you would just say something..."

If I hung up now, without an explanation, she'd think Peter hung up on her. Why does it even matter, I wondered. They're both strangers to me.

It was her voice, I think. It was familiar. I couldn't disconnect. We shared a melancholy. I knew her.

So I grunted. Well, almost growled. I cleared my throat into the phone and hoped it didn't sound too feminine. I had no idea what to do next.

"Peter!" she exclaimed, all doubt absolved. She then exhaled in the same way bed sheets rustle when slipping beneath them.

"I'm so glad you called," she says. I imagine linen on my skin. I imagine tucking her in.

"Mmmmmm," I mumble, mouth half closed. And it is enough to keep her talking.

Slammings

What a fascinating idea. I never would have thought to write about something like that, but it's perfect for a short piece. Such a lot of emotion comes out of it even though it's not made clear who the woman is or what her story is. The ending was also unexpected; I liked that she didn't hang up. Is this based on a real experience?

critiqued by eponine-pontmercy
May 22, 2010

Ha, this made me laugh for some odd reason.  It was sad, but pathetically amusing.  At first I assumed he was prank calling, but then in the end you made it sound like he was calling just to here the sound of someone's voice. 

critiqued by Aaron Lawrence, St. Louis, MO
May 22, 2010

This is a very touching story about accidentally bonding with someone. Your writing is direct and to the point. I don't like the swearing at the beginning, though -- it just doesn't feel right for your character, who seems gentle and sweet. Maybe a less harsh word...? Anyway, well done!

critiqued by Blubelle, Canada
Aug 6, 2011