The Slam: Slammables
He
by Liz, Pennsylvania
He's not a movie person
but this Friday
he wants to have
a movie night.
He does this
because he knows
what Fridays are
for me.
They are untethered ships,
unmoored vehicles from
which I am in danger
of plunging.
So he says to me
simply,
Why not watch a movie?
I think,
a small anchor.
But smile, nod,
and with the gesture
I am vowed.
We waver easily
in our promises,
but sometimes,
without trying,
they weigh so much,
it means something.
This is very good. I especially like these lines:
They are untethered ships,
unmoored vehicles from
which I am in danger
of plunging.
I love the metaphor, and how you continue it at the end of the poem. The last lines also seem very important; they completely change the overall meaning for me. However, in the last two lines I would change it from "they weigh so much, / it means something" to "they weigh so much / that it means something." Something small, but even (and especially) the small things are important in poetry.
May 22, 2010
I really like this. You've captured so well how a little gesture can mean the world to someone who is alone and depressed.
May 22, 2010
I love this! It's very well written, and the pieces of information you volunteer about the characters make me feel like I know them even though you never really introduce them. This is a beautiful poem; I just wish I know what it is about. I feel like every time I read this I understand a little bit more of the underlying plot, but I guess that's what poetry is all about!
May 26, 2010

Slammings