The Slam: Slammables

fremitus

by Melita

You can almost see the music (its tremors tearing
with sorrowing teeth at this silent world)
as it comes pouring out of the windows, rippling
the glass and making the concrete sidewalk
crack and shudder
as if it too felt this earthquake that hit you
suddenly  

Inside the house, you fan your fingers
against the jittering speakers and think
that your ears should be ringing and throbbing by now
but they stubbornly aren’t
and all that’s left is
shiny useless CDs and hearing aids
discarded on the coffee table
and you, hands reaching,
trying to find the melodies within the vibrations.

Slammings

This is sad! It sounds so desperate. I love it, though.

critiqued by SerendipitousQuintessence, Colorado
Mar 21, 2010

I'm a sucker for any title in Latin!

 

This poem is very good. I like the metaphors that you use.  Bona fortuna as you write more!

critiqued by A. L. Sommer, Wisconsin
Mar 31, 2010