The Slam: Slammables

Dear J,

by Monica, British Columbia

Writing on napkins on menus,
only one chance to
get this right.

Where did you get the ribbons?
Annie loves them,
there's one end singed, but it doesn't
matter, beause finally something isn't
grey.

Cigarettes are
scarce. Tea,
too
but we're holding out fine,
not that hungry,
really, and
would only like to let you know
not sick, just
lonely.

Slammings

I can't place my finger on just what it was, but something about this poem really caught my attention. Maybe it has something to do with my love for both letter writing and poetry. I loved the simplicity of it.

critiqued by eyes.open, Massachusetts
Feb 12, 2010

I don't know... I just get this amazingly lonely feeling while reading this... Please don't laugh but it makes me feel like a girl in London during the Blitz writing to a boyfriend or husband who's in the army... trying to find something to talk about and being terribly lonely but not wanting the poor fellow to worry... It made me cry a bit. Anyway, I really, really liked it.

critiqued by L. M. Zhukov, Russia
Feb 24, 2010

This is very interesting, but the title reminds me of that new movie, Dear John. I don't know if you meant to do that, but that's the first thing that came to my mind. Just be original.

critiqued by HannahMc
Mar 5, 2010