The Slam: Slammables
Eliza
by A. A., Seattle, WA
the house is empty now, without you, Eliza
the flowers bloom in their terracotta pots
the sun reaches its tendrils through the windows
mother waters them, wearing a robe which boasts a feeling she doesn’t feel
she bundles it tighter and shivers
she looks so cold
the only time she smiles is when she gets the letters from you
winter passes and you’re not here, Eliza
the flowers wilt without you ever seeing them bloom
I really liked the rhythm of this poem, and it had strong feeling. I really, really liked this poem!
critiqued by rschneider, New England
Feb 8, 2010
Feb 8, 2010
I liked it -- it had a structured feel but still maintained a high level of imagination. I'll give it a thumbs up!
critiqued by Aaron Lawrence, St. Louis, MO
Feb 23, 2010
Feb 23, 2010

Slammings