The Slam: Slammables
I Am!
by A_Brown
I am.
The way the light catches the ice
and the prism lights up in all its color.
The storm out at sea.
Wild tangles of waves dancing, dancing.
Rolling back.
I am.
All those bristling backs and hard eyes
and those gleaming teeth drenched with pink spittle,
with blood and a great eternal maw.
The great stomach retching acid.
The great fist grinding stones.
I am.
The sobbing moon that croons across the sea.
The silver-beam cradle and the pearlescent pupil.
The faint corona of the shining iris.
A million tiny stars all spangled out
so far apart, not knowing the pictures they create.
I am.
The tiniest speck of dust on the weed.
Pygmy fishes darting in and out of sunbeams,
the little veins in the leaves
nibbled over and over and mottled.
Flea-bitten flesh and great scabs.
I am.
The proud mountain with its bald cap.
The gentle gust that blows against it,
that shifts the grass and bows it down, but not the mountain.
Its slow death haunts each living moment.
Its ghost walks in its hunched shadow.
I am.
The high sun, casting darkness in pools
at the feet of everything, thinning
the dark feathers to little puddles.
The water that rises screaming to the sky.
The release back to the earth.
I really liked the patterns in this poem. Each stanza was sort of like a wave, cresting towards the middle, and every one coming back to "I am." It was also very boldly written with amazing descriptions. The ending seemed a little odd, though, and sudden. Maybe if you had put another "I am," at the end, it would be more final, but if that was the way you wanted to write it, that's great. Awesome poem!
Jan 25, 2010
I love the images in this... Each stanza is complete within itself... first you are the light, then the sea, the sky, the sea, the mountains, then you are the light on the water that rises to the sky and rains to the earth. Very beautiful and put together. Full of joy.
Jan 30, 2010
Love the poem, especially the third stanza. "The sobbing moon that croons across the sea" -- I would give so much to have the sort of mind that would have thought of that!
I hate to be annoying and picky but use of the word "spittle" in the second stanza sort of takes away from the beauty of the poem. The word itself seems pretty childish to me, but maybe you wanted it that way? I don't know, that might just be me....
Jun 7, 2010

Slammings