The Slam: Slammables
Chornii
by L. M. Zhukov, Russia
the subway roils with mice
and they are
packed so close together
one cannot
see their oily briefcases
I loved this poem! It paints a picture as you read it, then at the end you find that the poem has a different meaning from the one that you first interpreted. The only thing I would say is that the rhythm doesn't really flow for me. But all the same, an excellent poem! Great work!
critiqued by Jojo, Australia
Jan 13, 2010
Jan 13, 2010

Slammings